I write to keep me sane. I write so that my words may outlive my life. I write to find redemption

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

You got to laugh

Check out Inkygirl's comic about being obsessed with blogging

I first learned of her site, Will Write For Chocolate, during the crazy, wondrous time period of NaNoWriMo a.k.a November for those not signed up to write like a mad monkey on speed for 30 days.

Her comics constantly crack me up because they focus on humor derived from the experience of being one of those unique creatures called a writer.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Confessions of a Fraud

Last week I watched an episode of Inside the Actor's Studio. The actress being interviewed spoke about how she felt like a fraud every time she started a new movie role. She wondered if this would be the time that everyone figured out she didn't know how to act. I have heard these same sentiments echoed by other performers.

I think I suffer from something similar to this. I constantly think I don't know what I am doing when it comes to writing a novel, no matter how much I have learned in the last two years.

After hearing this actress say the same thoughts that run around in my mind all the time, I realized its just part of the process. Doubting yourself, not understanding this mysterious craft, wondering if your work will be laughed at, its all normal.

From now on I am going to try and embrace that uncertainy. Its just another thing that puts me in the same category as all the other writers ( who feared they were hacks) who came before me.

So the next time my self doubts scream "You don't know what you are doing!"

I will answer back "Of course, I don't. So what?"

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Eight Things Meme

I’ve been tagged. Canterbury Soul asked me share 8 random facts of myself.

Here are the rules for the meme:

1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.

2. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their 8 things and post these rules.

3. At the end choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.

4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and to read your blog.

I decided to do all mine about my tastes in music.

1. My favorite type of songs are the ones that are filled with a certain amount of sadness and ache in the lyrics. My favorite is Feels Like Home to Me by Chantal Krevizuk. Some of the lyrics are

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

2. Until I graduated high school I hated country music. I headed off to college in a rural town and found not much but that on the radio. I fell in love with the story song. Garth Brooks is now on the top of my list for artists who just can't have a bad song ( forget the little Chris Gaines episode.) Favorite song by Mr. Garth Brooks is The Dance.

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say?

You know I might have chanced it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

3.The first song I ever got hooked on was by GrandMaster Flash and is called The Message.

Don't push me, cause I'm close to the edge
I'm trying not to loose my head
It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder
How I keep from going under?

4.The first record I owned was, I think, the soundtrack from the musical Annie. I love musicals till this day just as much as I did at seven years old. My favorite one is A Chorus Line. Favorite song from that one is What I did for Love.

Kiss today goodbye,
The sweetness and the sorrow.

Wish me luck, the same to you.

But I can't regret
What I did for love, what I did for love.

Look my eyes are dry.
The gift was ours to borrow.

It's as if we always knew.

And I won't forget what I did for love,
what I did for love.

5. Another song that touches my heart is Desperado by The Eagles. I think some fnd it cheesy but this section cuts me deep

You better let somebody love you ( let somebody love you)
You better let somebody love you.....before its too late.

6. The latest song I keep playing over and over is Rock Star by Nickelback.

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
and live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars.

The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap.
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat.

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
in the VIP with the movie stars.

Every good gold digger's
gonna wind up there,
every Playboy bunny
with her bleach blond hair.

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
with the latest dictionary and
today's who's who.

They'll get you anything
with that evil smile.

Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial.

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

7. My mother used to sing this to me as a baby, by Debbie Boone.

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

8. The groups I love most are Matchbox Twenty, Goo Goo Dolls, and Counting Crows. One song that I could listen to, and have, over and over is Round Here by Counting Crows

Mama's little baby better get herself in
out of the lightning

She says "It's only in my head."
She says "Shhh, I know it's only in my head."

But the girl in car in the parking lot says
"Man you should try to take a shot.
Can't you see my walls are crumbling?"

Then she looks up at the building
and says she's thinking of jumping.

She says she's tired of life.
She must be tired of something

Round here.

I am not tagging people, cause I don't like to. If you want to do this meme go ahead, and if mine inspired you, drop me a note.


Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Thinking Blogger Award

Read this site for details on what this meme is all about
Thinking Blogger Award

The Top Five Blogs That Make Me Think

1. Fiction Scribe-

If you are like me and have a half finished novel that you are trying to sculpt into something decent that might even make sense one day, then you need to read her column. For every writer and hopeful, she has down-to-earth advice that you can take to the bank, or typewriter as the case may be. Just read her! You will not be sorry.

2. Wandering Author- Recently this blogger began a project of putting together an anthology of short stories where all the proceeds raised from the sale of the book would go to charity. He wanted to help the life of one small boy who needed access to doctors and therapists. When I read about that it awed me. It's an amazing task to take on and, also, quite possible if all the bloggers who are writers pitch in and help. We could make a difference in the world by making the difference in one child's life.

3.DBA Lehane- No one does short, short fiction better than this man. The first time I read one of his stories he inspired the best compliment I can give another writer, "Damn, I wish I wrote that."

4.Susan Abraham- this blog has a real international vibe in it to me. The writer is a traveler and when you read her you feel like your world is opening and you are seeing other countries and other cultures through her eyes. She gives a wealth of information and support, plus shares her own struggles and her personal journey which inspires me to keep pressing forward for my dream.

5.Operation Poem- this blog opened my eyes to the power of my words, and to what one small website can accomplish. The goal of the blog is to write a poem for each American service person killed in the war. Can you imagine your words being used for something so remarkable?

Our words can open and close doors and hearts. These bloggers know that and they have made my life only the richer for having found their blogs.

A big thanks to Wandering Author for naming me to his list. Check out the rest of his choices here

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Still Plugging Away

I've set a goal of September 1st to be done with the second draft of Nikolas and Simone. I want it completely cleared from my to-do list by the time next NaNoWriMo rolls around.

I am still struggling with my fear of completing it. It's bizarre but very real for me. It's as if I like being able to say "I am working on my first novel." That's hopeful and almost hints at the fact that my novel could be amazing. But when I finally say "I finished my first novel," I think the rest of the sentence with probably be "and it is pure crud!"

But I have to sludge through the crud on the way to being able to produce something superior. There are no shortcuts in this craft so I will just forge forward, inch by agonizingly slow inch.

Anyway, I was tagged by Kilroy_60 :

1. What do you hope to accomplish with your blog?

I want to spur myself into action to complete my novel.

2. Are you a spiritual person?

Very much so. I haven't ever questioned if God exists. I feel like I was born knowing He does and that there is no reason to doubt that.

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three things would you want to have with you?

Well, I think the obvious answer is a satellite phone to call for help. While I wait for rescue I would want to have the novel The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel to read. It never fails to crack me up. The last thing I would like is water so I could survive long enough to be saved.

4. What's your favorite childhood memory?

Taking dance lessons.

5. Is this your first meme?