I write to keep me sane. I write so that my words may outlive my life. I write to find redemption
Sunday, January 29, 2006
One year ago
On Feb. 17th this blog will be one year old. It has helped me to focus and , when I hit a rough spot, refocus on my writing. I am not as far as I would like to be a year later. But that hardly surprises me. I have never stuck to a diet I started or much of anything else in the self improvement category. I have a lot of work to do on myself and on my writing. But it is worth it to me. I know my dream won't change so it is now just about putting in the work.
Song of the Day You ask me for an answer, and I'm so tired and I'm up in the air. Everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way And I do. You can't hear it, but I do. You can't hear it, but I'm feeling this way just because you say I will be ignored. I will be denied. I could be erased. I could be brushed aside I will get scared, and I will get shoved down, But I feel like I do because you push me around. I'm starting to ignore you, I've doubted you so long. I'm tired of overthinking, I know you don't belong. Now I'm asking questions - no one pushes me around. Everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way And I do.
I finally started writing yesterday. I don't have a story idea I am commited to right now so I was just brainstorming and working on ideas but it felt wonderful. I missed the creative high. I have so much to learn still and when I go months between writing sessions it just slows down my growth as a writer. I hope to soon settle on a story idea and begin my next novel length project.
What I am Reading- Riding the Rap by Elmore Leonard
Another week has passed without me writing but something has changed in me this week. After NaNoWri Mo ended I went right into the Christmas rush which was made even more hectic this year because I had a pinched nerve that took a month to recover from. Then, as usual, It took till mid- January to decompress after the holidays. But this last week I started to, in earnest, long for a projet to work on. I wanted to drift off to sleep with plot ideas in my head and voices speaking to me. But I didn't want to go back to working on Tripping Over Myself( my NaNoWriMo project) and I didn't want to move on to something else and admit I was not going to finish that story. So I need to make a move either back into that story and complete it or onto something else.
Song of the Day And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life It’s like I just stepped outside When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not Come along with me this was not your dream But you always believe in me Another winter day has come And gone away And even in Paris and Rome I wanna go home Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by A million people I Still feel alone Oh, let me go home Oh, I miss you, you know Let me go home I’ve had my run Baby, I’m done I gotta go home
I haven't gotten back to writing since I took a break last month. I've had some ideas floating around in my head but haven't sat down and worked on them yet. I am tempted to not finish Jasper's story because it is so much more appealing to move on to a new idea. But I am so close to my 50,000 word goal that it would be a shame not to finish. What I am reading now- The Chili Queen by Sandra Dallas Song of the Day I see no changes all I see is racist faces misplaced hate makes disgrace to races We under I wonder what it takes to make this one better place, let's erase the wasted Take the evil out the people they'll be acting right 'cause both black and white is smokin' crack tonight and only time we chill is when we kill each other it takes skill to be real, time to heal each other And although it seems heaven sent We ain't ready, to see a black President It ain't a secret don't conceal the fact the penitentiary's packed, and it's filled with blacks But some things will never change try to show another way but you stayin' in the dope game Now tell me what's a mother to do bein' real don't appeal to the brother in you You gotta operate the easy way "I made a G today" But you made it in a sleazy way sellin' crack to the kid. " I gotta get paid," Well hey, well that's the way it is tupac song
This year I hope to- 1. Write a novel of 100,000 words 2. Learn to write a query letter
My venture into become a published author is a slow, sometimes agonisizingly so, journey. I want to be realistic about what I can accomplisH in this years time. I will not be able to submit until I can finish writing all the way till THE END. I got close with Tripping Over Myself but it will be , when finished, only half as long as I need my manuscript to be if I decide to write chick lit. I am still struggling to get to that magical , mystical destination called the last page of a novel I wrote.
Song of the Day And you asked me what I want this year and I try to make this kind and clear just a chance that maybe we'll find better days' cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings and designer love and empty things just a chance that maybe we'll find better days So take these words and sing out loud 'cause everyone is forgiven now tonight's the night the world begins again
I haven't done much writing since NaNoWriMo. I hope to get Tripping Over Myself finished this month. After that I have to decide if I should start something new or go back and work on a old project. What I am reading lately- The Gaurdian by Nicholas Sparks
Song Lyrics of the Day
I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again And if you live by the rules of "it's over" then I'm sure that that makes sense I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be And when we meet Which I'm sure we will All that was there Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on....
